Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Hospital Charts


Actual writings on hospital charts:

- she has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

- On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

- The patient refused autopsy.

- The patient has no previous history of suicides.

- Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

- She is numb from her toes down.

- The skin was moist and dry.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

- Skin: somewhat pale but present.

- The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

1 comment:

perky said...

Pretty nice.

See, at least sometimes my comments can be praise-full without any wise-ass jokes. ;)